Welcome to Holland

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

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We received this poem during training and I dug it out for a paper I am writing on the grief process of parents with children diagnosed with Autism.

I thought I would share it. Poignant, si?

Playing Blog Tag :)

Cheski, you are the only one who reads this ever, lol.

PROBABLY why I haven't been writing as much. BUT in loyalty to you I will continue the blog tag. :) Also, I like this stuff!!

Top 3 blogs:
1) IHeart Organizing - seriously SUCH an exciting blog. I don't read it much, but when I do, I get inspired. :)

2) The Nishimotos - my attempt to keep in touch with my lovely middle school buddy and lifelong friend.

3) The Sunny Raw Kitchen - recipes. Don't go a LOT, but I like it. :)

Any weird pet peeves?
ummmm, probably. BUT, I can't think of them right now. Overall, I have issues with people not doing things as well as I think they should be done. BUT that just makes me sound mean.

One thing you would change about yourself and why:
Sometimes when I feel passionately about something I cry. It is annoying. When I confront authority figures at work about something important to me it is inappropriate to cry and really you would THINK I could control it better. ALSO I typically end up crying when on the phone with the bank despite my best intentions. I'm great with the first person, ok with the second and by the time I reach management I'm in tears.

Three things you love about yourself and why
1) I love that I like to sing and dance!! It's just fun.

2) I love my body type. Even though it's not perfect right now, I feel lucky that I currently have a high metabolism.

3) I love my respect for other people. I think I learn a lot through it and am glad I get that opportunity.


If you could only eat one dish for the rest of your life, what would it be?
oooooooooooooooook, so I just realized that I didn't follow directions. sooo I will just answer ALL the questions. why not, right? Oscar is watching history channel and is soooo excited about aliens and the random stuff they show. Ok, this is a self sufficient man. I like it, but I'm still not paying attention, just returning excited looks to Oscar when he looks over. FUN. Ok, fooooooooooooood............... spinach!

OK, THE ACTUAL QUESTIONS :)

What do you fear most?
Family members dying. It's a rational fear and I know it will happen. But, I'm not looking forward to it.

If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be?
A cat :) Or a horse, or a parrot or a dog (huskie or chocolate lab). I'm not crazy about having wild animals because I feel bad. If they are domesticated, bring it on. I like lots of animals.

What do you like to do to make yourself happy when you're feeling down?
Hot baths, hot cocoa, watching pride and prejudice, snuggle with my kitties, go for a walk, sing worship songs.

What is the most wonderful sound in the world?
waves at the beach

The worst?
Nails on a chalk board - ICK

The funniest?
Certain children's laughter - it's contagious!

What is your most disgusting or annoying habit?
I have soooooooooooooo many. Eating cheese by itself. mmm. etc. etc. etc. Oscar came up with some but they are too icky to share, lol. ooh well, he got over it. :)

ok, I'm done. LOTS of questions. I'm tagging noone because as stated this blog is not read except by Cheski & I think occasionally Tammy.

toodles.