Thursday, August 19, 2010

Baby Today

Some days I think, let's just make a baby now.

Ok, let's face it. I've VERY rarely thought that in my life, but today is one of those days...



REASONS NOT TO MAKE A BABY TODAY
- If I work till March 2011, I get another year of student loan debt cancelled out.
- Who knows how I will feel when pregnant. It could very much so get in the way of school (decent excuse) or work.
- Everything would probably be less stressful if we actually move into a bigger apartment pre-baby.
- Oscar and I have a plan. I have been priming him that we would talk about it in December. Would he feel ready if we just jumped into a 9 month baby making period?
- Less time to build residual income

REASON WHY I WANT TO MAKE A BABY TODAY
- We still have 9 months of prep. It kind of stinks to feel like a big part of your life is preparing for something to come. I guess I am impatient and forever doubting my motives. Why are we waiting? for us or others? Pro is that if we started now and conceived right away, Oscar would get time with baby before Grad school. Also, I feel in my heart it would be good for my parents and grandma. I also just yearn to experience that kind of love.

I am also scared though and that will keep me waiting.


On another note, I think 25 is a great age to expand our family. If I wanted four kiddos, I could God willing shoot them out before age 32 and still have more if wanted. If not - no problem. At this time, we still have months of prep for me to get in good physical shape, build up residual income and get into a bigger car and apartment.

Anyways, I could write a lot more on this topic, but instead will put some quote from fellow mom bloggers.

PARENTING/FAMILY QUOTES
- It might be tough to translate to a single person the bliss of the simple things kids do that make up for all the fantastic, pleasurable things that I'd no doubt be getting more of if not for being a parent, but getting to see those things every day is truly better than anything else I've felt.
- The thing parents won't tell you is that their lives had no meaning compared to the experience of having a child. Even fullfilled, happy people get an exponential humanity boost when parenting works out for them. But that is like explaining sex to a virgin. And Parents know how the conceptualized it before and after, which non-parents do not. And that is whay they don't talk abou this. They know that outside the experience, you cannot understand it.
- Having been on both sides, it's not that bad. I don't know what the future holds and I guess if you're looking for a guarantee of happiness, there isn't one, either way. Happiness is within you (or not) whether or not you're a parent.
- There are times when I weep. Times when I want to pull out my hair. But you know, I had those same times when I was childless. So, that's not different. I gained a new appreciation of my mother and father. I never knew I could love someone so much. Basically, it's pretty wonderful.
- I waited until I was 38 before I had my son. And it is not all roses, and never will be--especially for me, as my son is autistic, and will be for the rest of his life. But, this is the way it works: you wonder the whole time you're pregnant what you've done, how you could have been so stupid, and how you're going to get out of this. Then, the first time you look into his face and see your own, it's all over. You would kill for him.
- Sure- the boy might grow up to be a disappointment and a [jerk]. Your daughter may hate you for life and send you her therapy bills. BUT, for the moment, when the little pug-nosed baby is asleep in your arms, the possibilities are still wide open and endless. Isn't that what life is all about? Possibilites?
- "Their hearts were wrung with anguish, the anguish of having children...a vulnerability as astounding as the capacity for love that parenting brings."
- I don't know what else to say. This can't be grasped reductively. It's poetry, and religion.
- The older I get the more I realize that life is what you make it. It's your life, no one should tell you how to live it. They will, but you don't have to listen. Make your own choices
- For me, I found that caring about something outside of myself was exactly what I needed to become a more balanced, better functioning adult. Cleaning, cooking, working at all of life's necessary tasks was a tiresome drag that I resisted before I had my child. Afterwards, I began to see each task for the act of love it truly is.
- Take the most profound love experience you've ever had and multiply it by about 100. That's how you feel about your children. Oh, sometimes you hate the situation you're in ... because it's really, really, hard. I've often said it's both the best thing that ever happened to me and the worst. But it's worth every second because of this deep, uncontrollable, unbounding love. The type that is truly, in so many cases, blind. The type where you would, without question, give up your life for someone else.

taken from comments of this blog entry: Does having children ruin your life?

2 comments:

  1. I liked the quote about happiness and there being hard times regardless of being a parent. On a side note, maybe next time edit out the quotes for profanity? Thanks.

    As for preparation, it really isn't as bad as you think it will be. It's mostly a mental/emotional/spiritual thing than a financial/temporal/physical one. Of course, we've had a lot of help in the financial area, more than the average couple, but still. That's the easiest thing to work around as long as you're humble and practical.

    I think you brought up some good points for having a baby sooner than later. Continue to pray about it, and don't fear acting on the answer God gives you, whatever it is.

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  2. Sorry if the profanity offended you, I didn't think about that at the time. I will edit it now. Sorry for the italics too. I'm not sure what happened.

    I go through phases on Operation: Expanding Family. I think Oscar and I are on a good path. I'm not making the baby on my own after all and we both have to feel ready. Financially, I predict we will have zero help, but I'm not that worried about that. I think it will all come together. Sometimes it feels like our life is all about prepping for expanding the family, sometimes I feel like I am not emotionally ready to take the leap.

    I think it will all come together how it's meant to be. LOVE YOU GIRL! Thanks for reading my babblings.

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